Dear School Board and Mr. Superintendant,
You will get a real email from me, but since this is my family blog, I will write a personal note here that you will never read...
It is not your fault that I have received a pink slip ending my career (for the moment) as a teacher. You did vote for 25 to 1 in the classroom which resulted in my pink slip... but the district's lack of financial planning was the ultimate cause.
I am no longer 'mad' at you. I do hope that your words at the board meeting were true... "we care about the students" "we are about education" "we don't want the students' learning to be affected by our decision"... but I am confused at your unanimous vote to go to 25 to 1 and send out 160 pink slips.
Dr. Beeman that gave me my pink slip... I know you didn't "choose" me... you were given names and schools to give the bad news to. BUT... after the formal script you read, I did not appreciate the 'personal' part you added... "aside from the official part of this. I would like to take a moment to appreciate you and the work you have done for our district, the students and the parents. blah, blah blah"... this was where I cried because you didn't know my name without looking at my file folder. You didn't even know what grade I teach. Do you know that one of my students broke her arm, had surgery, and I went to her house to deliver letters and cards from my students and to spend my entire lunch break with her???? Do you know that last year I had a student that was born with Nunnan's Syndrome and did my best to help him, and this year while he is in first grade am still checking on him and his progress and checking in with his parents and teacher because I care about his future. Do you know that I wake up many nights trying to think of ways to reach the students that are 'not getting it' or have something happening at home that stops them from concentrating at school etc, etc, etc. Do you know that my sleep, my showers and my other waking moments are consumed with thoughts of my students and what I can do to help them educationally, emotionally, etc. Or that there are numerous parents coming to me every day telling me what a difference I made for their child? Or that at least 10 children, not in Kindergarten, come to me each morning for a hug? I might be the only positive part of their day so I make sure to tell them something positive (and different from the day before) to start their day. Parents laugh at me because I am bombarded at the door just trying to open it, but I remember each of their names, give a hug and think of something personal to say. (This morning a parent was trying to talk to me about my pink slip and we were interrupted by at least 10 students for hugs and good morning comments)

And this blog of course is not for Dr. Beeman either... I'm not even mad at him for delivering my pink slip. I'm not even mad at anyone.... I am just sad. And upset. I really and truly love my job and my school and my students and my parents. My real parents too :) (I also don't care about proper grammar in my blog because it's personal and I teach kindergarten so it's ok lol) I'm not mad at anyone, even though the district could budget better. I am upset that students will be affected by this. I am upset that next year these babies will have 25 children in their class. It's hard to give every single one of them the proper attention and care and education now. 5 more might not seem like a lot, but it is.

Then I regress and think... but this blog is about how I'm upset that I lost my job... or might be losing my job. I hope that pretty soon this will all blow over and I will be ok...

It's not about the paycheck... it's not about having a job... I truly love what I do and where I do it...

Also... I'm not used to rejection or things not going my way. My therapist tried to tell me over a year ago that I won't always get my way. Funny!! How'd she know I always get my way?!?!?! So... I am determined to get my job and my spot and my grade level back!!!


But.... as an almost 31-year old... I have come to realize that I might not. I will be ok. I will make it. I will continue to sub and try to get hired back. I will try to transfer back to my school. OR... I will expand to other districts and broaden my horizons and apply and sub. It's not up to me at this moment and I will do my best for the rest of the school year to teach and inspire all 21 of my babies until the last day of school... then something will happen for the positive :)

But... I can say that I will definitely stay in education and teaching! I feel that is where I belong and will continue to inspire the future!!! Let's just pray and hope and believe... because it is out of our hands :)


Sincerely,
Miss Elder
your daughter, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, cousin, girlfriend, daddy's girlfriend, teacher, mentor, friend, Mary Kay friend, Mary Kay consultant, neighbor, employee, etc...

Cindy :)